You Aren't Meant to Do This Alone

Monday's topic is grief. The process, the twists and turns, the questions, the hope . . .

What do you think of today's title? Do you think it's true that you're not meant to go through grief alone, or does your grief feel like a prison sentence to solitary confinement?

Does it depend on the day? Some days people and friends came through for me in thoughtful, touching ways. Grace was lavish, my heart overflowed with gratitude.

On other days the walls echoed with silence, clouds hid the sunshine, I couldn't get warm, the phone didn't ring. On those days I wanted to scream, "If I'm not supposed to be alone, then why am I alone!!"

Sure, I was lonely, but was I really alone? Truth was, I wasn't alone, but I was in a new territory.

A new set of friends gathered around me and they weren't always who I expected. I began walking every day with a woman named Laura and she was a pillar of strength for me while she herself was going through tremendously tough situations. Another friend named Laura began to draw me into her world of cystic fibrosis. A young woman named Becky courageously asked me the questions no one else dared.

A handful of others gracefully wove in and out of my life, too, including people from my past. I was surprised to realize one day that many of my new friends were divorced. They had experienced the death of a marriage; difference was they still had to look at the guy. And as I look back now I see that all the new friends had one common denominator: they were survivors. They weren't afraid of my pain and grief. They had lived through it. They'd grown.

I think they also knew I could not make it on my own. No one can, no one is meant to.

But my friends weren't omnipresent--they couldn't be with me all the time. That's an attribute of God. Read Psalm 139:7-12. It says He saw me in that empty house, He heard the cry of loneliness.

He's the one who sent the survivors to me. He sent the days of lavish grace, and the days that imprinted me with the fact that we aren't meant to do this alone.

That's why this blog is here. You aren't meant to do this alone, either. Psalm 68:6, "God sets the lonely in families . . ." Don't you just love that? For the Christian, besides your surviving family, there's your church family, the Holy Spirit within you, God is with you (whether you sense Him or not), and I'm willing to guess that some surprising survivors surround you, too. Why not make a quick list of people God has sent your way? You might be surprised at the new people in your life.

♥ Ferree