Porchlight: Finding Our Way Home Series

*For Crying Out Loud*

Kelly shared on Monday what a natural stress reliever God has built into us: our unique ability to shed emotional tears. When we cry, our body chemistry is actually re-balanced. We not only feel better, we are better!

Yet, those crying jags can come at the worst times, so let's talk about this "new normal" today and help each other navigate and find our way through. They're unpredictable. We don't cry when we think we should; other times a crying spell can hit right out of the blue. I can think of many examples.

I'll never forget an older black man who got in an elevator with me in a parking garge near downtown Cleveland. I wasn't in the best of neighborhoods and I really didn't want anyone in there with me, but sometimes, what can you do? So I was nervous, but it turned into one of those moments when you see God's fingerprints. It must have been a glass elevator, because for small talk we were commenting on the Cleveland skyline. It was just a few weeks after 9/11, though, so we talked about what if our landmark--Terminal Tower was missing like New York's Twin Towers. We imagined a gaping hole where it should be. We grew silent, the elevator came to a stop, and then the man started weeping. We exited and he walked over to a concrete ledge of the walkway from the parking garage, and leaned on it, wiping his eyes and trying to collect himself. "I was in the Korean War," he told me. "My platoon. . . . we lost so many . . . "

I'll never forget Uncle Bill at Christmas time after Aunt Barbie passed from battling cancer. The aunts, uncles, cousins and Grandma Bowman all sat visiting in the living room as little kids ducked in and out, jazzed on sugar with missions of their own. You know how sometimes it's loneliest when you're in a crowd? Bill sat there with tears streaming down his face. We were all awkward and didn't know what to do. My 4 year-old Lisa was the smartest one in the room that day. She climbed into his lap and let him cry.

Recently a friend of mine lost her father. She's been working so hard to get through the grief and thought she'd gotten most of the tears out of her system. The 4th of July struck her with unexpected tears and she spent most of the holiday afraid to go out without breaking down. She didn't know where it all came from until she remembered that her grandma had died twelve years previously on 4th of July weekend.

A few times since we've been married Tom will hear a song on the radio or tv, and I'll catch him with tears in his eyes. He finds me in the same way, too, every now and then. We appreciate that we can put an arm around the other and let the tears pass. We don't make them stop. We know they'll stop when they've served their purpose.

Why do I share these sad stories with you?

Because they're beautiful. You see, God made us in His image, and the fact that we grieve is evidence of His image. We grieve because we love, and God is love. We remember because God remembers. We relive and revisit those most profound memories like the Korean War veteran and my friend whose Grandma had died, because God has set eternity in our hearts.

Our compassion has no timeframe; emotions and grief aren't linear with a beginning and an end. God created us in His image as eternal beings. Sure, we move on, grief becomes bearable, memories become more a matter of honoring. Yet every once in a while, out of the blue, the grief will come like a suprise rain shower, as if the sorrow was yesterday instead of months or years ago. And everytime that happens I learn something about myself and stand in greater awe of my God.

How about you? I think we can talk about this without getting stuck and wallowing in sorrow. Do you remember a time when tears caught you by surprise? What happened? And what would you do if it happened again? Let's start out with some light-hearted questions. Copy and paste your answers into the comment box when you click the comment line below.

1) Do you like Puff Plus with moisture creme or just regular Kleenex?
2) When you cry are you all dainty and dabbing at your eyes and nose? Or are you like me, sobbing and snarking and a real mess?
3) Where is the worst place you've had a crying jag?

• Movie theatre
• Wedding
• Dropping kids off at school
• Hallmark store
• other:

4) Share a brief experience or a piece of advice about emotional meltdowns in public.

5) Share a Bible verse that has spoken to you about your grief.

Check back tomorrow for a list of movies that need a "WARNING: May Cause Crying" label on them.
♥ ferree
(Flickr photo credit: by clevelandsurfkid)