Hope these "rules" help you laugh out loud!
- If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soday with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
- When you eat out, the calories don't count as long as you eat even one calorie less than anyone else in the restaurant.
- Foods such as hot chocolate, pancakes, loaded baked potatoes, and cheese cake used for medicinal purposes never count.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
- Movie-related food, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Tootsie Rolls and Icee drinks are OK, because they're eaten in the dark.
- Cookie pieces contain no calories. When broken the calories leak out.
- Foods of the same color--like spinach and pistachio ice cream--have the same number of calories.
- Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other color.
I love these! Very funny!!
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