Friday Fun Puns

Do you like puns? I don't remember exactly how these came to me--probably an e-mail from my buddy Mike. Some of them are pretty clever, and sure sharpeners for widow fog. So see how you do. I posted these a long time ago, but today I've added pictures! Tell me what you think (boo! hiss! groan! or LOL) and send in your own favorites, too, or share some of your husband's old jokes. It's OK to have a little fun today.♥ ferree

Puns

(author unknown)



I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. A backward poet writes inverse.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)