♥ ferree
***
The first half of 2012 was nothing more than a blur to me. I
was so deep inside of myself with the pain of losing my husband and best
friend. I was not even ready to accept that he was gone. I was withdrawing to
the point where I had completely isolated myself. I didn't want to see or talk
to anyone. I was really afraid about how bad I was feeling. I didn't know if
this was normal or not. I was afraid, confused, anxious, and at times really
depressed. All I wanted to do was hide from the world until my husband came
back. The worst part was that I felt like I was isolating myself from God. I
felt like I was losing my faith on top of losing everything else. I was afraid
that if the Lord was trying to help me; I wasn't listening. I felt so alone.
I started praying for God to help me connect with someone
who understands. I also prayed for God to help me connect with someone that can
help me as I struggled with my Faith.
One day, I was searching online for help for widows. During
my search I came across "Widow's Christian Place". I started reading
some of the posts. As I was reading through; something inside of me realized
that I needed to be here. I found the answer to both of my prayers. I know that
God had led me to this place. After a while; I didn't feel so completely alone.
There are other Christian Women out there who know what I'm going through.
So to answer the question; "How did the Lord bring me
through 2012?"'
There are three
things...
The Lord has led me
to a to find a very caring and supportive Christian counselor.
The Lord has led me
to find the Widow's Christian Place and all the caring and understanding
members there.
The Lord has led me
to meet Ferree. She has been so incredibly supportive and such a positive
influence for me. Her faith, understanding, and compassionate support through
emails, her web site, and her book (which I've started to read), is something
that I will always be forever grateful for.
Thank you Cathy for your story....I had to look twice to see If I didn't write it myself. I don't even remember 2012 it is as if a whole year has passed, and I don't know where it went. I was married to my bestfriend and soulmate for 33 years and he had a massive stroke and lived three weeks (Thomas) Nov. 13, 2011. I am still numb, going through motions of living, doing only the necissities. I do have pets and a specical needs adult daughter I try to be a caregiver too, but they have suffered also. Tell me what one does with the photographs on the walls, when looking at them it seems my emotions go wild. They jump from lonliness to anger, to remember when and so on. C.S. Lewis said after Joy (his wife) died that photos are just the image of that individual and not the real person and they can do more harm than good if we soak into them. I heard a christian song the other day which the lyrics in it said " beyond the cross is an empty tomb and beyond the tomb is the resurrection and beyond the ressurrection is life everlasting and peace forever more.
ReplyDeleteSo I rejoice in Thomas's new home and I actually said to God.... "I was happy for Thomas but sad for me"
I awakened the other morning and thought about that one verse in the 23 Psalm........ "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" and it's as if the Lord spoke so clearly......"my child in order for there to be a shadow there must be a light, Tom is with me" Blessings Dodi
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ReplyDeleteWhat beautiful women visit here, Ferree and the wisdom they share as they continue on their solo journeys is amazing in spite of their heart-aches. I am always blessed when I visit you and your community. Thank you!
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