The Obituary & Death Notice

The obituary and death notice are the very first written facts about the death of your husband that you'll most likely deal with.

They both appear in the local newspaper, but did you know they are not the same?

The Death Notice looks sort of like a classified ad. It's in small print, and you must pay for it, usually by the inch of space. It can cost hundreds of dollars. Its for the public record, legalities, geneologies, and stuff like that. It's part of the cost of dying and there's no way around it except to make it as short as possible. The funeral home might include this in their services. Funeral homes might also issue a separate death notice to announce time of calling hours, the funeral or memorial service and the burial, but that's separate from the public death notice.

An obituary might or might not cost any money. It's a newspaper article highlighting a person's accomplishments and contributions to society. An obituary is more like "news," and a newspaper prints these as space allows. Sometimes the funeral plans and a photo are included, sometimes not. Small town newspapers are usually more apt to print everyone's obituary. The front page headlines and the obituaries are (believe it or not) the first things people read most often.

Obituaries and death notices are often a source of confusion, regret, guilt and emotional baggage! Names get spelled wrong, important family members are not mentioned, accomplishments are overlooked . . . . Obituaries and death notices should start with a capital T for Trouble! Next week we'll look at some ways to get over the hurtful missteps of these written documents.