HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST????

Have you asked yourself any of these questions-----When will the pain go away? When will life return to normal? When will I no longer feel like I'm so alone in the world?

The good news: Grief will not last forever.
You will laugh again. You'll find new balance and purpose. The initial raw pain and crying spells will ebb. You'll go from crying A LOT, to crying several times a day, to several times a week. Then several times a month, to every couple months and less as life picks up and you're involved again.
Time becomes more liquid, though, and sometimes you'll experience the memories and grief as if you're still in the moment. I think that's OK. It means you're human; you're created in the image of God who is not bound by time. God transcends time and when we experience memories as vividly as if we're still there, it's because we're created in the image of God who never forgets anything but forgiven sin.
So lean into the memories, lean into the grief. Don't be afraid, this won't hurt so badly forever.

The bad news: Grieving takes longer than we want.
In our push-button/instant gratification culture we hate to wait! We want quick relief! Grief doesn't work like that. Ancient Israel allowed 40 days for mourning--at the most we're allowed a week or two off work or school. And there are social expectations. People in Bible times wore sackcloth and ashes. They wailed and mourned out loud in public. Today's widows look pretty good, they're complimented on "how strong" they are; they're shushed away; patronized to numb any pain with medications and pleasure because they "deserve to be happy." People! Listen! Can we let her just be sad for a bit?
It's impossible to put a time frame on grief. Everyone's situation is so different; widows' range from teens to elderly, deaths occur instantly or with long anticipation, loss may be contained or it may avalanche with multiple losses. Some widows only need six weeks, most need at least six months, some will need six years. But we all only want about six minutes!
Widowhood is the hardest challenge and test many women will ever face. Ask for professional help if you think it's taking too long, if you feel "stuck," if you're falling into depression. It takes time, but making the effort to take the time to work through it will reap a rewarding and richly satisfying future.

More good news: Widows who take an active role in their grief can resolve it earlier than those who don't.
Facing into the storm of your suffering, intentionally working through it, and gleaning all the wisdom you can will help bring about your desired acceptance and closure.
In my opinion, when widowed, allow yourself to concentrate on the first year and all "the firsts" it will bring your way. Don't complicate it by adding a boyfriend. Don't move or change jobs unless it's absolutely necessary. Use the time to become a student of yourself and your own grief. Attend grief seminars and support groups. Read!
Talk! Find a widow who can be your walking partner, prayer partner or mentor. Carefully check out widows groups on the Internet, start a blog about your experience. Tell your story. (Stay safe, though. Tread carefully and protect your privacy. Evil people who prey on widows really do exist).
Next, allow yourself to ease into the second year with the realization that it will be very different from the first year. Note your discoveries, establish a foundation of wisdom and gratitude, develop an understanding of your new and special relationship with God.
Then, if you feel like you're done grieving, you're done! Of course there will occasionally be days that knock the wind out of you, but that's life--and love. Cry it out, cling to the Lord, and count on Him to carry you through. Joy will come in the morning, and--- through the mourning.

Where are you in your grief journey? Are you just starting out, do you see some twists and turns ahead, or are you sliding into home? ♥ ferree