$ Giving $ Guidelines $

There's a needy world around us, and many widows are very needy too!
But there's also a wicked world around us, and we need to be "wise as serpents but gentle as doves."

So today I'd like to offer some gentle guidelines for wise giving. We are to be good stewards of the provisions God has given us---not only $$$, but also housing, clothes, food, etc. Even if we don't have $$$ to give, (I know this by experience) we can share food, clothes and shelter because there are always others in need. Sharing life's necessities is a good thing, but we need to guard against wicked greediness which goes straight for the bucks. Here's the nitty gritty on gentle but wise giving guidelines.

Don't make any loans. That's what banks are for. You are not a bank.

(this is from Do's & Don't for Widows which I'd posted last month)

• Let's say someone you love wants to borrow money from you. Happens to widows all the time. But why can't this person go to the bank? If the bank doesn't trust them to re-pay, neither should you.
• Do they want to let you in on an amazing investment opportunity? Why isn't anyone else in on it if it's that good? Tell them Mr. Policeman or the IRS would probably love to hear about it too.
• Do they turn ugly and barrage you with abuse or threats like, "You'll never see the grandkids again!" if you don't loan them the money? Let them know that's called extortion. Besides revealing themselves as real slimeballs, extortion could land them in jail!
• In the meantime, in any of these cases, call in reinforcements: your church, your widowed girlfriends, your financial advisor, your 'board of directors.' The next time you are approached, let them meet your reinforcements. (Board of directors idea is from Miriam Neff's book From One Widow to Another. The board is composed of the following: a person with financial wisdom, a practical friend, a godly widow, an encourager, a person with spiritual discernment & courage, and a relative whose priority is YOUR well-being)

What if someone asked outright for money and their need was really desperate and immediate? If someone asks, we're supposed to give, right?

• No. In the New Testament, giving is done through the church. Especially the woman without a protector/accountability figure in her life should use the church to channel her giving. Even though I'm remarried, Tom and I still apply this principle.
• Here's how it works. If someone---this could be anyone you meet on the street, in a support group, on Facebook, a blogger---anyone! When asked for money, call your church's (or their church's) benevolence ministry. The church will then evaluate the true need, and if you desire, you can donate to the benevolent fund. In most cases you cannot earmark the money--- "Here's $$$ for so and so," but you may designate it towards the proper fund and the church will use your donation for either the exact person or the next need. This brings the larger body of Christ to meet the need, and it safeguards you. 
• We need our churches! If we're ashamed to show them who we're giving to or why, then that's a warning light, and I hope we see it as a stop light!

What if it's the pastor or church asking me for money?

• Again, you are not a bank. In my opinion, they shouldn't be asking you. But sometimes this happens for special projects.
• If you feel God wants you to give for a special church project, make sure you thoroughly discuss it with your financial advisor and/or board of directors and even your family members. Your children would need to know about this in case you fall ill or die unexpectedly.
• If it's a personal loan to the pastor, just say no. And then find a new church. Things get weird if a pastor is financially indebted to members of the congregation. You, as a widow, don't need that mess right now.
• Missionaries frequently need to raise support and you might be asked to donate a monthly amount. This is perfectly normal but if you're a US resident, be sure it goes through their mission board so you can receive a receipt for a tax deduction for charitable giving. If you're outside the US, follow the standards for your country.

What about other organizations and websites?

• The only ones asking for money should be non-profits, with a 501(c)(3) tax status which will be clearly noted about them. Keep your receipts for tax time, but they should also send you a year-end statement of giving. Don't be shy about asking for it. If they don't have the tax exemption status, if they don't have a mailing address and physical location, working phone number, board members, referrals and other signals that they're legitimate---if they haven't bothered to address those issues, then they're probably not going to be around long enough to do anything but cash your check. Just say 'No!' 
• Use Charity Navigator to look into organizations you're interested in supporting. This great website has done the research for you and shows how various organizations will use your gift. Will it pad the CEO's pocket or really reach that hungry orphan? Plus, it's loaded with all sorts of tips for giving and ways to protect yourself from scams.

Thanks for letting me raise this issue of giving today. And in closing, please know that if you ever get an email, Facebook message, blog post, etc from WC Place, Lifeboat groups or even me asking for money, it's a scam. It's not me! And please notify me immediately!
♥ ferree