For Crying Out Loud

Crying jags... we've all had them. And they can come at the worst times, so let's talk about this "new normal" today and help each other navigate and find our way through. Tears are unpredictable. We don't cry when we think we should; other times a crying spell can hit right out of the blue. I can think of many examples.

I'll never forget an older black man who got in an elevator with me years ago in a parking garge near downtown Cleveland. I'm all about keeping myself safe and I really didn't want a man in there with me, but sometimes, what can you do? It was a glass elevator, so I felt a bit safer, and in spite of my nervousness it turned into one of those moments when you see God's fingerprints.

The Cleveland skyline
with Terminal Tower in the center.

For small talk we were commenting on the Cleveland skyline. It was just a few weeks after 9/11 so we talked about what be like if our city landmark--Terminal Tower-- was missing like New York's Twin Towers? We imagined a gaping hole where it should be. We grew silent, the elevator came to a stop, and then the man started weeping. We exited and he walked over to a concrete ledge of the walkway from the parking garage. Leaning on it, wiping his eyes and trying to collect himself, he said, "I was in the Korean War...my platoon... we lost so many..."

I'll never forget another scene: Uncle Bill at Christmas time after Aunt Barbie passed from battling cancer. The aunts, uncles, cousins and Great Grandma Bowman all sat visiting in the living room while our little kids ducked in and out, jazzed on sugar and chasing each other. You know how sometimes it's loneliest when you're in a crowd? Bill sat there with tears streaming down his face. All alone in the midst of family. We were all awkward and didn't know what to do. My 4 year-old Lisa was the smartest one in the room that day. She climbed into his lap and let him cry.

And then when a friend of mine lost her father--- She'd been working so hard to get through the grief and thought she'd gotten most of the tears out of her system. But then 4th of July struck her with unexpected tears and she spent most of the holiday afraid to go out without breaking down. She didn't know where it all came from until she remembered that her grandma had died twelve years previously on 4th of July weekend.

A few times since we've been married Tom will hear a song on the radio or tv, and I'll catch him with tears in his eyes. He finds me in the same way, too, every now and then. We appreciate that we can put an arm around the other and let the tears pass. We don't make them stop. We know they'll stop when they've served their purpose.

Why do I share these sad stories with you?

Because they're beautiful. You see, God made us in His image, and the fact that we grieve is evidence of His image. We grieve because we love, and God is love. We remember because God remembers. We relive and revisit those most profound memories like the Korean War veteran and my friend whose Grandma had died, because God has set eternity in our hearts.

Eternity in our hearts means this to me: Our compassion has no timeframe. God created us in His image as eternal beings. Sure, we move on, grief becomes bearable, memories become more a matter of honoring. Yet every once in a while, out of the blue, the grief will come like a suprise rain shower, as if the sorrow was yesterday instead of months or years ago. And everytime that happens I learn something about myself and stand in greater awe of my God.

How about you? I think we can talk about this without getting stuck and wallowing in sorrow. Do you remember a time when tears caught you by surprise? What happened? What triggered them?Comment today, and come back tomorrow for a light-hearted questionairre. ♥ ferree