Holiday Anticipation for Those Who Grieve

Well, it's almost here--Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and then the new year. If you're dreading it or feeling overwhelmed, please know that's understandable and normal. Many widows feel like that. I often hear though, that they've found the anticipation was worse than the event, so take hope my friend. Focus on the people in the moment-- your kids, your friends, neighbors or family-- make some phone calls if they're not in the house with you. Help them get through this and let them know how to best help you.

If you'd like to set aside some moments of remembering, it's perfectly appropriate if you will be sensitive to the other people around you---consider this: will talking about your loss help them or put a damper on the day and drag them down? (Remember we all grieve differently). Perhaps it'd be better to focus on celebrating the great things about your husband; have people share their happiest or funniest memories or photgraphs, and the good he accomplished so it doesn't turn into a pity party.

Don't force the issue, but by suggesting a moment of silence, lighting a candle, or sharing a memory of the last Christmas with your husband, you might help everyone feel more comfortable and relieved.

If you sense privacy would be better, then on your own its perfectly fine to write them a letter, or pray and tell Jesus Christ everything. While this can be helpful, it can also be draining, so I don't want you to think you can slip away from the dinner table for a few minutes to write or pray. Thoughtfully set aside a special time when you'll be able to rest afterwards.

Above all else, focus on the reason for the season--our God is with us! He loves you and He will see you through these days. Watch for the evidence of His love and care in the eyes of others, in their kindness and gifts to you. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights . . ." James 1:17
♥ ferree